Perfection VS. Perspective

Perfection doesn’t exist. Sorry if I offended you.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the idea of “striving for perfection” when in reality it is just a guise to mask our narcissism and ultimately hide our insecurities. However, what does exist is perspective and it is unique to us all.

Perfection is conditional, meaning that it is dependent on our point of view.

The other day I visited an apple orchard and a pumpkin patch for the very first time and it elucidated this idea. I enjoyed the simple rustic atmosphere and seeing the vibrant colors of autumn, the bright orange pumpkins, rosy red apples and the transitioning of the leaves from a summery green to a mustard yellow or mild maroon.

For many going to a pumpkin patch in the fall and picking the “perfect” pumpkin is a family tradition. For me it was a revelation about perfection. Typically, pumpkins are good for things like pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin pies, creating jack-o’-lanterns, pumpkin soup, pumpkin scented candles, etc. However, I found greater use of the pumpkin, that of being a reflection of imperfection.

I must admit that I too fell into the abyss of seeking out perfection. I was looking for the “perfect” pumpkin at the patch and got frustrated after I could not find one. They weren’t like the impeccable ones I had seen on Instagram and on other blogs. Some were spotted, covered in dirt, bruised, oddly shaped, two-toned, and slightly decayed and some of them were even completely damaged beyond recognition.

Every time I thought I selected one without blemish and would carefully examine it and look at its other side and there it would be, a huge flaw staring right back at me. It was something that I had to come to grips with, that perhaps the perfect pumpkin did not exist and that if I truly wanted to take one home with me, I had to accept that it would be flawed in some way.

And just like that I realized that the same could be said about us and our imperfections. So often we are seeking out perfection in our lives, whether it is in our appearance, our relationships, our finances, or even some of the characteristics that define us. We allow social media or our environment to trick us into believing these “picture perfect” ideals, just as I was convinced that there was the perfect sized, perfect colored, blemish-free pumpkin in the patch waiting for my arrival.

What I learned was that seeking perfection became a stumbling block for finding the right one. What really mattered was my perspective. They do say “Change your perspective to change your life,” and I found this to be true. We let looking for the “perfect” partner prevent us from meeting the right one or idolizing a particular quality we deem as “perfect” keep us from embracing our differences and uniqueness.

I am first in line on the guilty queue. We all have insecurities whether we like to admit them or not. I feel like our insecurities stem from wanting everything to be perfect. For a while I’ve struggled with embracing my kinky coily hair texture. I’ve always admired those with bone straight hair or curly hair, especially since many of those around me considered that type of hair to be “good” hair and the most beautiful. With that idea, it was always in me to strive towards this idea of “perfection.” I’ve tried relaxers, straightening my hair and weaves, all to achieve the look I deemed as “perfect.”

Recently I’ve been working on accepting my natural kinks. I have realized that it (perfection) was only a matter of perspective. Here I am yearning for straight or a looser curl pattern because I saw that as perfection and someone somewhere with straight hair that can barely hold a curl is longing for their idea of perfection, kinks and coils.

Visiting the pumpkin patch explicated this notion that flawlessness is really just about one’s outlook. The pumpkin that I chose had a few flaws but depending on the view point from which I looked at the pumpkin there were none at all.

The front of the pumpkin flawed with dirt and few bruises

The other side of the pumpkin

Sometimes we are out here being picky and choosy because we want that perfect thing, when really all we need to do is pick a different perspective and the flaws won’t even matter or in fact might not even exist anymore!